Stolen Toast Tastes Better


As a mom, I forfeit everything. I have no rights to anything in my home. Not even a slice of toast.

The other day I decided to enjoy a snack with Abby and Harmony while our little number six, David, was down for a nap. I set Harmony up in her high chair with a scattering of Cheerios. Abby shouted for a “Ohh-Gurt!” and so I obliged, grabbing a Danimals out of the fridge and a couple of graham crackers for good measure. I’m watching my calories these days – apparently I’m the only woman on the planet who can burn 1,000 calories a day breastfeeding twins and not lose weight.

So I decided a nice slice of toast would be a good snack for me, along with a handful of grapes and a serving of cheese.

I had just sat down and nibbled one little corner of my toast. As I gazed across the table at my two beautiful youngest daughters I noticed Abby’s face turning redder and redder.

“I oooooping!” she grunted.

Of course.

“I uhn down!” she shouted, wide-eyed. Apparently this was a job better done standing up.

I popped a grape in my mouth and hopped up to help her down from her booster seat. As I set her feet on the floor I heard David howling from his crib. His nap was over and he wanted out – pronto.

I left the kitchen, figuring Abby would finish her job while I got David.

He smiled up at me from his crib. I brought him to the kitchen, set him up with his own serving of Cheerios next to his twin sister. Then I returned to my little plate of goodies.

But something was missing.


There were grapes. There were a couple of slices of cheese. And crumbs. No toast.

I paused for a minute. Did I really eat that whole slice of toast without remembering? I caught a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye.

I whipped around and caught her.

Abby the Toast Thief.


“My toast!” I exclaimed.

“No. Is MY toast,” she answered. A bald-faced lie, but told with such conviction that for half a second I tried to recall if I had given her toast. But no, I remembered: Ohh-Gurt and graham crackers were her snack of the day.

“No, Abby – that’s Mommy’s toast,” I used my gentlest mommy voice to reason with the little thief.

“No. Is mine.” she stated and I swear she started chewing faster.

I laughed in disbelief and took a step towards her, “Abby…” I started.

She took three more big bites.



Recognizing this as a losing battle I gave up, retreated to the toaster to make another slice of toast. Abby enjoyed victory with every buttery bite.


And when I sat down to enjoy my second piece of toast – she had the audacity to come over and ask “bite?”

So she scored half that piece too.

Apparently she wasn’t poopy either. I think it was all a clever ruse to get me away from my toast.

7 thoughts on “Stolen Toast Tastes Better

  1. What a story! Your life is nuts, yes? About the weight loss and nursing: my body hung on to the extra weight, dropping it only after I was done. ??? But sounds like you’ve been down this road before. Where do you find the time to bake and blog? Now I know why your banana bread was cheater-style ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • LOL! Yes, I use cake mixes to save time baking cookies and banana bread. I usually blog in the mornings 9-12 before littles go down to nap. I write several stories in one sitting, and then use the scheduler to spread out the posts. That way I don’t have to blog every day, just a couple times a week. But I keep notes of ideas for posts on my phone. It’s the only way I can manage the blog, six kids, the house, homeschooling, potty-training, cooking… On and on and on ๐Ÿ™‚

      I do seem to hold on to weight while breastfeeding. But that could be from eating too much. I’m constantly hungry! It’s terrible.

      • I remember those days–first meal was 5 a.m., then breakfast at 8, and so on… And you have twins! You look like you’re doing well and it sounds like you’re staying sane. And the kiddos? Adorable ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Sounds par for the course! Kids are tricky! My newly potty trained son has learned that I get out of bed quicker when he tells me he has to go, it’s just not fair ๐Ÿ˜‰

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s